Such a Heavy Back Pack

Last weekend, my teen boys went to Acquire the Fire teen conference. They both came back all pumped up about living a more abundant life. I am always so excited to hear all that they learned, who they saw, and my favorite, how the powerful weekend has impacted their lives. My thirteen year old son has been reading this really awesome book ~ The Great Divide by Mike Guzzardo. I love for my boys to read meaningful books that will challenge them to live extraordinary lives. I got caught up in scanning the book, that I didn't want to put it down either... so... Today, we read aloud several pages from the first chapter in this powerful book. I want to share with you some of the most impacting ideas that I have dwelt on today. Following Christ into a deeper relationship with God is like climbing a mountain. However, we each show up to make this journey with a heavy backpack filled with a lifetime of fears, sins, insecurities, and other hindrances that we have accumulated. Sometimes, we have purposefully filled our pack ~ thinking the things we have added will aid our assent to a life of freedom and fulfillment of our God-given destiny. Unfortunately though, even these seemingly good things weigh us down and cause us to rely on our own judgment rather than on God's leading. As we are lead higher and higher in our journey, we are asked to remove the things that are weighing us down. At each steep path and close rocky way, we are given the choice of releasing some of our burdens. When we refuse to relinquish control, we are forced to make camp or try an easier route. Inevitably to climb higher up the mountain, we must go through the roughest ways. And as we do, we must begin to rely more and more on the Lord's guidance and wisdom. "When we cling to our heavy burdens, it's almost as if we set up camp on the mountain of spiritual progress... Yet all the while, far above our camp, the pinnacle still awaits ~ the abundant life and calling for which God set us apart at the beginning of time." Let's continue on this journey. Let's not stop to set up camp. Let's leave the heaviest burdens behind and press on unhindered to the mountaintops. We went around the circle and each child shared his heart about what God was revealing to them needed to be left behind on the trail. And this momma cried with joy.

Together We Have It All

My laundry is all over the dining room table. (And I have a dining room table that seats 10 people!) So, I mean it literally... stacks, piles, hangers on the chairs, mismatched socks, and baskets of unfolded stuff in the chairs.

The kids left pillows, shoes and socks on the living room floor before going to bed last night. And I didn't make them come back out and pick it up. I can still see a Knex roller coaster someone was putting together earlier, forgotten toys and cuddle blankets littering the bedroom floor from the open door down the hall.

My son just marched by with an orange rifle over his shoulder. Another shirtless son is lazily eating his oatmeal as still another son tries to take the magazine the older one is reading away from him. He wants to read what his older brother finds interesting.

My daughter's hair is falling into her eyes again and her fingernails need to be repainted. She just walked up to me and said, "Mom, do you want to know why you get to do a lot of laundry?" "Why?" I want to know... no, REALLY, I want to know. "Cuz you have too much kids!" She exclaims!

No, we don't have it all together. In fact, we live in this house 24/7.

I know your family isn't like mine. You live a perfect life and your perfect kids are always obedient and don't ever fight. They are never mean or hurtful or selfish. They don't say bad words or stuff dirty clothes in the toy box so the floor is clean. They always say their bedtime prayers and aren't ever grumpy or wake up with bad dreams. Your life is perfect, I know...

We don't have it all together, but together, we have it all!

We play board games... there's one still on the breakfast table. We read books... there's piles of them on the end table. We play outside... one bike is left in the middle of the yard. We listen to loud music... the CD's are stacked around the stereo, right where we all know where to find them. We play instruments... the guitar is leaned up against the couch where someone was just strumming it. We use our imagination to make up all kinds of plays, stories and games. We really do enjoy our not-so-perfect life!

I'm not excusing our "apparent" lack of concern. What I am saying is that someone walking into my house might just see the clutter and stuff. But I see our heart's desires. I see that our hearts are set on the most important things. We love, encourage, and desire to learn and grow more. We strive for excellence in matters of our hearts and mind. We love God with passion and pursue peace with others. When it comes to heart issues, we desire the best things. With God, we have it all together.

Reflecting the Sun

Over the weekend, we took our family on the boy's cub scout campout. Relaxing around the campfire after long days of hiking, storytelling and giggling at silly skits, campfire songs, fiddles and guitars, snuggles in the cool night air, and... the moonlight. As the sun set, the full moon rose higher and higher in the sky. A pure white light reflecting off the lake. My husband and I couldn't resist a short stroll down to the water's edge to just admire the loveliness of the evening.

A simple moment. A quiet word. A breath of fresh air. A time to reflect and appreciate. A pulling away from the busyness of life. A constant reminder of God's presence.

So much God has given us to point the way to Him. He loves and cares and shows us each day His presence in our lives. Sunrises, sunsets, moonlight, every aspect of nature. Many times, though, we miss it because we are too busy to slow down and just bask in His presence. We surround ourselves with things and commitments that drag down our lives with nothingness that doesn't last. We demand so much from our time schedules that we leave very little room for just worshipping God in the smallest things. He is worthy of our worship. He is most amazing.

Such simple things like taking a walk along the lake to soak in the moonlight remind me that life is truly lived in the little things.

Taking Time, Making Memories

This past weekend, our family drove up to my grandparent's lake for an anniversary celebration. My upper 80's grandparents have been married for 60 years. That's a LONG time for a marriage to last, especially in our day and age.

Four generations convened at the lake to express our appreciation for their lives of love to each other. Though not all of the family were able to come, my parents and several of my aunts and uncles and cousins were there. We displayed family pictures and reminisced about times long ago. We took our childen around the lake and hiked down the creeks and up the rocky slopes that we had explored as kids. We sat around playing games and chatting. We ate and ate and ate some more. We attended Grandpa and Grandma's traditional church service, and afterward, we celebrated their dedication to each other.

Grandpa and Grandma are so sweet together. I pondered and watched Grandpa assist Grandma out of the vehicle as we arrived at church on Sunday morning. His help, though not as gentle as it used to be, was a small way of expressing his love for her. Petite and frail, Grandma struggled to her feet when the preacher announced their celebration luncheon. Her eyes showed the pride of belonging to her man for such a long time. I was touched by their lifetime of commitment to one another.

I'm pleased that we took the time to honor our ancestors who have been tending their garden for a long time.

Just a Little Bit of My Mom Heart

My heart for my children and their future generations cannot be summed up in this little space, but I would love to share just a little bit of what I dwell on. Mom Heart Conference was in Dallas this past weekend. It was the first time for me to attend the conference. My heart was refreshed and lifted as I met new ladies, heard their stories and strengthed my resolve to live each day in a passionate way.

One of the wonderful messages I left the conference resonating in my heart was that God doesn't want me to be more exausted and doing more. He wants me at rest. Isaiah 30:15 makes this very clear, "In repentence and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your stength." So many times moms fall into the trap of thinking that more is better. Sometimes more is just simply more. I find myself saying these kinds of things: "If I was just more organized..." "If I just read more books about..." "I need to be more patient..." "More time in the day would help..." and on and on.

The simplicity of trusting the Lord each day helps cut down on the "need more" attitudes. Quieting my spirit to trust the Lord is what strengthens me... not all these other "More" things.

"More" thoughts to come.

Another Pile of Stuff Revealed

This weekend as I was cleaning up the kitchen floor, I realized that there was some junk under the refridgerator. Everybody else was outside at the time, so I proceeded to move it out by myself. To my dismay, I found 6 Cheerios, a light blue pencil, 3 missing shopping lists, a magnet, a bazillion airsoft pellets and an AWFUL LOT of dirt. Yikes! How long had it been since I had cleaned under that thing?!!

Since I usually do most of my thinking when I am doing mundane chores and since I was alone in the kitchen at the time, I began to think of how easy it is to let things get stuffed away in secret places ~ places we clean all the time. I sweep and clean all around the kitchen daily. Dishes get washed. Countertops disinfected. Trash removed. And don't inspect the inside of my refridgerator right now, but even THAT gets cleaned often. When did the magnet holding the elusive grocery list slip off and fall? How long had that pencil kept company with those 6 Cheerios? Where else have I missed cleaning? Why had I allowed so much stuff to pile up in such a tiny space? I have no idea, but these questions made me think even deeper.

What other areas of my life have I become lazy? Where is other stuff stacking up without my knowledge? I know I don't dust the furniture as often as I should. And I know that several years ago, I couldn't sleep with dirty dishes in the sink. I know that laundry around here piles up really quickly and that bathrooms don't clean themselves. What I really am getting at is...

I don't want to allow undealt-with issues in my heart to pile up. The Lord is always merciful to reveal these things to me little by little. Probably because He knows I'd have a heart attack if He gave it all to me at once. He is faithful through the years to draw me closer and closer to Him by helping me see the little things that have kept me that much farther away. He has such a graceful way of helping me clean out the piles of stuff that separate me from Him. In the hidden parts of my heart, He will make me to know wisdom. Once again, I cry out the words of David, "Create in me a clean heart, Oh God."

Pulling Weeds

We talk as we walk, the Master Gardener and I. I am especially excited to show Him my outer gardens. Confident that my well manicured lawn and meticulously maintained fountains are presentable, I lead Him through the rows of columns and flower beds. I have taken care to prune the roses and fertilize the shrubs. As He has instructed, I have done. I am proud to show Him the bouquets freshly picked from the choicest of plants. We stroll over the well-worn paths and quietly enjoy each other's presence. Sweet fragances fill the air making our visit lighthearted and enjoyable. I so love His presence.

"These areas I have tended well," I sweep my hand to gesture this vestibule spot. I pluck a few choice blooms for Him to examine. He nods and smiles approval. I am confident in this outer garden ~ the one that I regularly visit and tend.

His eyes light on a small gate almost hidden from view by the clinging vines. "Let's go in there," He suggests.

Taken aback by His desire to leave this place of tidiness, I hestitantly respond, "Uh,... okay,... we can go in there."

We push back the undergrowth and go inside. I realize immediately that I haven't tended this part of my garden in some time and the lack of maintenance shows. I feel embarrassed at my neglect. He doesn't say a word, just rolls up His sleeves and plunges His hands into my weeds. I join in quickly. Before long, we've gotten it back under control.

How comforting to know that I don't have to do all the work alone. His loving kindness overlooks my faults. His grace allows my mistakes to be corrected. My garden doesn't have overgrown corners anymore.