Focusing the Lens Again

Tragedy struck very close to home this past week. A missionary family lost a wife and mother. She and her husband were traveling in Mexico when they came upon a roadblock set up by the drug cartels. The armed gunmen shot at their vehicle and she was hit. The husband raced for the United States border where she was pronounced dead. This couple had been missionaries establishing churches in Mexico for thirty years.

My heart breaks because this tragedy hits way too close for comfort. Pensive sadness overwhelms my wrenching heart. I begin searching for answers, questioning God's goodness, and worrying for my loved ones. I worry about the needless loss, the validity of the cause, the purpose of the mission. I fear the worst. Praying all the time for clarity in the fog.

For many years, I have struggled with the questions of why bad things happen to good people. I know this is common ~ that many people have gone through their times of questioning God's goodness. In our understanding, it seems that the natural laws of sowing and reaping should protect people who do right. If you plant good seeds in life, good things should happen. If you plant bad seeds, then bad things should happen. It is, in essence, a principle that I teach my children every day. That life is a choice and consequences are real. But, sometimes circumstances are beyond our control. Sometimes, God allows things to happen in our lives that seem in our human understanding very unfair.

Asking the "Whys" can sometimes cloud our vision and get us distracted from trusting God. When we begin to focus our attention on the evils of life and horrible circumstances, we allow our vision to be blurred. We can easily fall into the trap of seeing ALL of life's circumstances through this distorted lens. Questioning MUST lead us to the Answer or else the cycle of questioning becomes endless.

Finally coming to a peaceful trust again, I choose to focus on the Truth. Walking in wisdom and confidently placing loved ones in God's hands allows me to rest again in peace.

Hidden Gardens

In the last couple months, I have seen some of my favorite women ~ my dearest friends and precious family. (I missed seeing a couple of you ~ I love you, Dears.) Anyway, two particular instances come to mind, mostly because of their contrasts.

Imaculately dressed and groomed, she told me of all her most recent shopping excursions and the upcoming sales galore. She told of the promotion and sizable Christmas bonus for her contributions to the company at which her position is senior management. A talented businesswoman. Extremely successful. Respected at church. Cherished by her husband and children. Giving and hospitable. By all appearances, she's a Proverbs 31 woman!

Graying hair reveals her age. Her joyful laugh brightens up the room. Her whole life has been dedicated to everybody else but herself. She is the first to jump up and serve others. It is said of her and her husband, "the most kind and caring people." Her eyes light up as he enters the room. The love in their eyes reveal a fire that burns strong and true. Her children have grown up, married and have families of their own. Her listening ear and thoughtful advice bring understanding to every situation. Her morning routine isn't complete without her coffee at the table with her Bible spread out before her. Her humility draws you like a magnet. I am mesmerized by her bouquets of simple wisdom and kindness.

As women, we are encouraged to be beautiful. To let our beauty shine. And we should. We should take care of ourselves and be lovely for our husbands. We must also be careful to not let our adornment be merely outward - but rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

Those words always kinda catch me... gentle and quiet...

The hidden gardens of the heart give the most glorious bouquets.

Cloudy Days Are Clearing

The Rainy Day
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the moldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the moldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.


I told my husband this morning that the cloudiness is finally clearing. My dear little girl and I are both feeling much better after being a little sickly.

I am reminded of a saying my husband used a lot in highschool, "I thank God for good health." Our circle of friends always got a good laugh at this one, because he was just looking for a little attention and being slightly dramatic. (Those of you that know him will understand the understatement of "slightly.")

Oh, it feels good to see the sun shining from behind the clouds again.

Touches of Beauty

Though it has been some time since I have posted my thoughts, I have still been living. Most of my inward musings have simply been ones of the heart. Hidden life still flows in my garden.

Reminds me of the season of winter. Days are short and nights are longer. Cold invades everywhere. Trees branches are bare. Grasses are withered. Everything appears to be dead. Even the birds and wildlife are hidden away waiting for spring. The reality, though, is that beauty is still alive. Life still exists. It is just waiting until spring when it shows itself in full color again.

I find solice in the wintertime in the hints of beauty in the crisp cool air. The fresh snowfall, peaceful in the morning light. The icicles reflecting the sun. The holly berries and pine cones bring cheery color to an otherwise dull world. The bright wings of a blue jay swooping down from the tree tops catch my attention more readily than in the summer greens. Touches of beauty are everywhere.

Staring dreamily out the breakfast room window, my sweet boy commented that he could see the trees turning green again. Not wanting to dash his hopes, I said nothing. The buds of spring will not appear for a while yet. No, the trees remain silent. Not even murmuring their whispers of life's secrets. But they will sing again. They will open up their hearts to us once again and join together in a harmony of joyful strains. The melodies of spring will burst forth ~ all in good time. For now, the composition is still being written.

Until then, we will also wait. We turn our focus inward, to the things of the heart. We build up strength, strength of character, of mission. We set our goals and determine our plans. In the darker quieter seasons, we must realize that life and beauty still exist and take delight in searching for those touches of beauty. What peace we can find when we take the seasons of life as God has intended.

Intentionally

The kids and I discussed today the definition of "intentionally". Lots to focus on here. We looked at some of our other English words that are related to intentionally. Words like: intent ~ intend ~ intended ~ intense ~ intensive ~ intensify ~ intention.

We talked of the necessity of living life with purpose ~ of emphasizing our strong, deep devotion to the most important things in life ~ daily communication with our Creator, love and grace for our family, compassion and goodwill toward others, diligence to the work we have been given to do. Being firmly fixed in attention to the plan. Meditating on what that plan is going to be and staying true to it.

Intent invokes such a powerful response. There is no room for status quo or half-heartedness. There is no room for diversion or getting side-tracked.

So many times the things that cause us the most harm are the things that pop up when we are allowing ourselves to get distracted from the plan.

I love the verses in Ephesians where Paul describes his life as running a race. He is fixed on the goal. He runs as one who wants to finish strong. He doesn't want to fall or get tripped up by the extras of life. His eyes are fixed on the goal, and he won't give up until he gets there. That's living intentionally.

The Medium Club

Today I was challenged by Chuck Swindoll's thoughts for today. He told a story about some children who created a special clubhouse. Their club rules were simple. "Nobody act big. Nobody act small. Everybody act medium." In other words, don't act like you are bigger or smaller than anybody else. Everybody treat everybody else in the same way.

Every kid enjoys the sense of belonging to an exclusive group of other kids. They create forts and clubhouses that they can meet in and join together for fun. Being part of a team or fan club gives kids the excitement of doing something they love with other kids that have the same interests. We adults are just the same way.

We surround ourselves with people we feel comfortable with. We feel more relaxed and at ease with people we have things in common with. We form hobby clubs, book studies, and social groups to participate together in common pursuits. Now, don't get me wrong, all of this is harmless enough. These are acceptable and good things to do.

The trouble comes when we begin to think that because of all these good things, we are better than someone who doesn't participate in the same way we do. I see this so much in the Christian world. We commonly treat others differently if they don't do things in the same way that we do. If others don't like to study or worship or read the same as we do, we exclude them. If they have different standards or behaviors that we find repulsive, we treat those people different than we do other people who act and believe like we do.

This exclusive behavior is usually justified by lots of Scripture quotation and protectionist thinking about guarding our children from harmful influences. And then when we do come into contact with others who have lower standards or behaviors than ours, we somehow think we are doing good for society by reaching out to them in God's name. The root of the problem is that deep down inside, we think we are somehow better than others by acting in this way. Many times we don't want to see it this way, because that makes us have to question our heart motives.

Pride and self-righteousness are the roots that hold us to our exclusive clubs.

These thoughts make me ask some hard questions. Do I act the same way with everyone? Do I treat everyone I come into contact with the same kind of responses? Do I show favoritism toward certain people over others? Are my motives for doing kind deeds or reaching out to others for selfish reasons? Do I really think that I am any more acceptable to God because of any THING I do?

Or... Does love and compassion drive me to treat everyone the same, no matter their behavior or belief system? Do I belong to the Medium Club?

On Guard

The dusk light was still shining through the trees; just enough light to reveal the figures of four young boys playing under the tall oak trees. Makeshift swords and plastic shields were swung wildly as my four young warriors battled one another and defended each other all at the same time.

If I could forever imprint these few minutes on my brain, the youthfulness of boyhood would never be gone.

I know they will all grow into young men, but I pray that the immaginations and companionship of their youth will always be with them. May they always appreciate the simple joys that come from brotherly relationships and a hearty good time. May they always be courageous comrades and never fear fighting for the Truth.