Home is Wherever You Are

I've always told him, "Home is right here, wherever You are." Usually said as I lay my head against his chest.

Nothing feels as right as laying in his arms.

Children's voices are all finally quiet. Darkness envelopes the house. Another day has come and gone. And we are finally alone. Just he and I right where we belong.

Our lights are dim. Our voices hushed as we whisper assurances of unending love.

We laugh. We sigh. We whisper and giggle. We tussle and tickle. We sigh again. We embrace. We kiss...

Quiet for a time. Arms around each other. Bodies close.

We talk about our day. Our fears. Our frustrations. Our conversations with friends. With strangers. Our children. Our triumphs.

Quiet again.

For these twenty years, he's been my champion, my hero, my love, my companion, my cheerleader, my truest friend.

We differ greatly. Our personalities opposite. Yet, we compliment each other. Truly a God-given match. I can't imagine a life any different.

We believe in each other. Even when we disagree.

We've hurt and cried. Trusted and lied. Forgiven and trusted again.

This is marriage. This is love. This is forever and a day.

My heart is yours, and my home is wherever you are.

Change-Adverse

Adventure. Wilderness. Solitude. Survival. Exploration. Discovery.

Lately, in our school curriculum, we have been studying the Discovery Age, when many explorers went out and conquered the unknown.

Christopher Columbus sailed into the Ocean Sea looking for Cathay. Vasco da Gama sailed from Portugal around the southern tip of Africa, a previously unexplored sea route to India. John Cabot sailed across the northern Atlantic and claimed Canada for England. Magellan sailed toward India via the west and ended up sailing around South America and into the Pacific Ocean. (Not that you wanted a history lesson, but...) These brave men and many others literally changed their world.

Our family loves to discover what we had previously not known. One of the reasons we love camping, hiking, and traveling to explore new places. We love TV shows about survival and adventure. If ever caught in a survival situation, I think that we would make it out alive... making a fire, catching food, building temporary shelter... more than just survive, we would probably be thrilled in the whole adventure of it all.

Except that part of me cringes at the thought of going into unknown places and learning new things. Part of me likes my comfy bed, warm house and stocked pantry. Part of me loves to know what the next day's schedule will be like. Part of me screams, "No!" at any mention of change. I don't want my kids to grow up. I don't want my dependable red minivan to die. I don't want added responsibilities. I don't want to be without any of the conveniences that I have come to depend on. I have to remind myself that...

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Change brings good things. If these great discoverers never got out of their comfort zones, the world would still be flat.

Although I'm not expecting a dramatic physical change in my life soon, (so don't misunderstand me)... I am expecting my attitude to change. My complacency. My laziness. My procrastination. My impatience. My settling for status quo. I want to venture into unknown places of my heart and traverse those wildernesses to bring about change for good. I want every area of my life to reflect my trust and dependence on God.

"Pay Attention"

I clearly heard Him say, "Pay attention."

Lately, my youngest son has been getting himself into all kinds of trouble. He melts down for any little thing. He has difficulty staying focused in schoolwork. He responds with crying and even hitting when the older boys don't include him in their projects.

My natural tendancy is to get frustrated and irritated that he is disrupting the peace in the house. After all, my anger and outbursts are just a response to his misbehavior. Catch my sarcastic reasoning and justification for my own wrong-doing.

Granted, we just came through the holidays when we ate more than we should have. We allowed the kids to stay up later than normal and wake up later in the mornings as well. So could the break in routine have anything to do with his (and my) behavior? Most definitely!

Recognizing my own shortcomings and taking the holiday breatk into consideration, I poured out my heart to God. I complained, "He needs to pay attention to me. I've never let any of the other kids get away with this kind of behavior. Maybe he needs harsher punishment. Maybe he is just immature and will grow out of this phase. Maybe he has a learning disorder... Maybe this baby of the family is somehow defective. Can I return it for a better model?"

That's when I heard the whispered, "You need to pay attention to him. Just like I pay attention to you when you bring your requests to me. Pay close attention and don't get distracted."

Now, I get it. I've known it all along. It's not my boy who needs more focus in his life, it's me. It's not him who needs to pay attention to me, I need to pay attention to him.

I am reflecting God's love. My sweet little boy needs to see God's love reflected to him right now. He needs to know that God is listening when he is hurting and cries out to Him. So the most practical way that God is speaking to my boy right now is through me. I am carrying out God's plan by paying attention to my boy's needs today. Now, I get it.