"Pay Attention"

I clearly heard Him say, "Pay attention."

Lately, my youngest son has been getting himself into all kinds of trouble. He melts down for any little thing. He has difficulty staying focused in schoolwork. He responds with crying and even hitting when the older boys don't include him in their projects.

My natural tendancy is to get frustrated and irritated that he is disrupting the peace in the house. After all, my anger and outbursts are just a response to his misbehavior. Catch my sarcastic reasoning and justification for my own wrong-doing.

Granted, we just came through the holidays when we ate more than we should have. We allowed the kids to stay up later than normal and wake up later in the mornings as well. So could the break in routine have anything to do with his (and my) behavior? Most definitely!

Recognizing my own shortcomings and taking the holiday breatk into consideration, I poured out my heart to God. I complained, "He needs to pay attention to me. I've never let any of the other kids get away with this kind of behavior. Maybe he needs harsher punishment. Maybe he is just immature and will grow out of this phase. Maybe he has a learning disorder... Maybe this baby of the family is somehow defective. Can I return it for a better model?"

That's when I heard the whispered, "You need to pay attention to him. Just like I pay attention to you when you bring your requests to me. Pay close attention and don't get distracted."

Now, I get it. I've known it all along. It's not my boy who needs more focus in his life, it's me. It's not him who needs to pay attention to me, I need to pay attention to him.

I am reflecting God's love. My sweet little boy needs to see God's love reflected to him right now. He needs to know that God is listening when he is hurting and cries out to Him. So the most practical way that God is speaking to my boy right now is through me. I am carrying out God's plan by paying attention to my boy's needs today. Now, I get it.